Living in Limbo

Limbo was one of my favorite games as a kid. I especially loved it at the roller rink, I could bend WAYYYYYY back, I was a flexible little kid. Thank goodness I loved it then, becuase not only am I no longer flexible enough to play it, I currently feel like we live in limbo. And quite frankly, I'm sick of it.

Mom went to the oncologist today for a check, and to talk to him about any new options they might have.

Just as she was walking out the door to go to her appointment, CTRC from San Antonio called. They would like to re-evaluate her to possibly start in the same trial!

Mom talked to her oncologist about it, he's all for it. He wants her to come in for IV's for the rest of the week, and possibly on Monday. It looks like they will be heading to San Antonio on Monday afternoon, so Dr Ruxer wants her in that morning to top off her fluids, especially since she will have just come off the weeknd, and will be making a 5 hour car trip.

They have decided to re-evaluate her pain medicines. A few weeks ago, they weaned her off of the pills, and left her on the patches. She says that her pain has been pretty bad since then, getting worse at night. Sometimes she can't sleep. So today he re-instated the pills, and added another one, I think to alternate.

Mom's doing OK. Every time I talk to her, she is in a lot of pain, sometimes to where she can't talk. We have better days and worse days. Saturday was a really good day, I mean REALLY GOOD. We got our hair cut, she wanted Pei Wei for lunch (she actually told me she was hungry - and ATE!!!), we got pedicures and she got her nails done. She was pretty wiped out by that point, but we had been going since 8:30 that morning, and it was about 3:45 by the time we left the nail salon, and she hasn't had the energy to do all that in months. Sunday, well, not as good. I don't know if she overdid it on Saturday because she felt so good, or if it just wasn't as good of a day.

Tonight I went over to see her after working out, because her friends had a surprise for her. They bought her a recliner!! She was just completely overwhelmed. It is really nice and comfy, and pretty neutral so it goes with their house well. Mom is hoping to sleep in it, since she is more comfortable sleeping propped up, but keeps sliding off the pillows, which makes the pain get worse. In fact, as I type this she is probably sleeping in it now!!

Mom has some really great friends. Some of them she's known since high school. A few she knew when I was in elementary school, but they all went to church together for years at ROBC, and they were the group that ran around together. They have stuck together through divorces, marriages, you name it. I'm really glad that she has such good friends. They are a terrific support system for her, and for all of us. They really let us just lean on them when we need to.

This is the same group of friends who held the prayer service for Mom on Sunday night. It went well, it was just very emotional. We really appreciated it. I think Mom cried the whole way through, I know I cried for most of it. Mom cries a lot lately. I know she's wearing thin with the whole thing.

I'm tired of the whole back and forth thing. I know the rest of the family is too. I completely understand why she got turned down for the treatments last week, especially since she'd been in the hospital for the same thing 2 times in 8 days. And I'm glad they want to re-evaluate her. I just know they are really tired of making that drive, just to be told, sorry, you don't qualify. At this point, I want it to be either yes, or no. That way, if it is a no, we can start looking for something else and stop re-hashing the whole thing.

I'm really tired tonight, so I think this post is kinda all over the place, sorry about that. Please continue to pray for us.