It's been a week. She's been gone a week.
I think I have cried as much this past week as I have in the last month.
I just miss her so much. Today was Mom and Dad's anniversary. It's not fair that Dad had to go to the cemetary to tell Mom happy anniversary. We had him over for dinner, to try to help. I don't know if it did any good.
I'm trying to be positive, to look at the "bright side" but right now I just don't see one. Not for us, anyway.
To make things even better, my granddad (Dad's dad) is in the hospital with heart problems. He needs surgery on a valve that isn't working properly, but he is too old and in too poor of shape to do the surgery. Seeing as he is 83, and isn't going to be running any marathons or roofing any houses, he will probably be fine with everything as it is.
God and I have been having a discussion this week. I've just about hit my limit. I just buried my Mom last week, I'm still falling apart over that. So now my Granddad has to be put in the hospital? For something that has nearly killed him 5 different times? Really, can't I get a break? Can't my FAMILY get a break? I feel like this whole entire year has been one endless episode of "Let's punch the Pugh family in the stomach to see what happens." I know He has a plan, but right now, I'm having a hard time with that.
Sorry for being so down and out tonight. Just hits me sometimes.
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Please do not apologize, you need to vent, God can handle your anger, he is big enough. I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom was an awesome woman, she was your mother, you do not need to be brave, you need to mourn that loss.
ReplyDeletePlease feel it, especially here. I better know how to pray for you.
When I finally find the rock big enough for me to hide under, I will save a spot for you. *hugs* Hopefully your Grandfather will keep on keeping on for awhile yet. Your family needs some good days.
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