We are still hanging in there.
Mom is going more downhill every day. She has fewer and fewer lucid moments. She is barely understandable most of the time, then other times she is very clear in what she says.
We are still finding humor in all this. Mom's personality that we know and love so much is still very much intact.
Yesterday, Pete and I were taking care of her and just holding her hands while Dad ran a few errands and Kathy and Robert were upstairs. Mom kinda came to for just a few minutes, asking who was all there. We told her that it was us. She said "I'm tired of talking to you. Can you find anyone else?" We did laugh at that, quietly.
Basically, though, we are all just hanging around, talking to her when she is awake and lucid, trying to make her keep her clothes on (no one ever told me that people in the last days of their lives try to strip continually!!!) and just going along with whatever she says.
Quote of the day from yesterday:
Kathy "Nicole, could you please come over here and convince your mother to stop stripping?"
Me "Momma, lets keep your gown on until the lady gets here so we can take a bath, ok?"
Mom "But I'm not gonna be embarassed!"
Really, it was pretty funny. Dad said he never knew Mom had a voyeuristic side to her!!
I think you have to find humor in all this, or else you spend the entire time crying. And there is plenty of that going on as it is!!
Hailey has decided to come home for a while. Even though TCU is only a 20 minute drive away, she felt like she wanted to be home for this. She said that she doesn't want to be in class, or even worse in marching practice where she can't leave, when she gets the call that Mom is gone. We get it. Dad isn't working for now, his bosses have graciously given him the time off that he needs. Kathy has rescheduled her clients, and Robert has cleared it with his boss to be off and here. Depending on how the rest of the weekend goes, I might go back to work Tuesday, I might not. Right now I'm leaning towards not, but Pete wants me to go unless it is the Very End. I really would rather be here with my family, with my mom.
Occasionally, Mom will recognize me, and when she does, she gives lots of hugs and kisses. I know I won't be able to have too many more of those hugs and kisses, so it's OK that she showers me with them right now. Even though it does make me cry, which she doesn't understand. Mostly she will recognize Dad, or Granny and PawPaw. Last night, she wanted to sit with Dad, so he pulled a chair over to the hospital bed and put his arm around her. She dozed off, leaning against his arm. It was very sweet.
Growing up, I knew Mom and Dad loved each other, but I never saw them as more than my parents. Now, I am seeing them as the couple they are. Dad loves her so much, and this is just killing him. She will wake up and kiss him frequently. If he isn't in the room, she asks for "my Phil." He always comes running.
Please continue to pray for us. We know the time is drawing near when we will lose her. In some ways it will be a relief to finally have this over, to know she is no longer in pain. She is ready. She has earned her reward.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
You know, sometimes, I think the reason the Lord lets a person drag on and on, is for that very reason you said, that you will find relief with its all over, if she went right on, the shock of it, is sometimes more than we can bare, but when they go on for weeks and even months, we come to the point that it will be better for them to just go on. even tho we will miss them just as much, somehow, the Lord makes it ok in our hearts. I know where you are comeing from...just love her and enjoy her while she is here. remember to take a few pictures too...you might not believe it, but you will wish you had in years to come.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you...still praying for the peace that passes all understanding for your entire family.
We love you and are praying for you every day.
ReplyDeleteNora has again said just about all I would know to tell you right now. The picture part is so true even tho it may be quite a while before you can look at them, you'll be glad that you have them. I think that hospice patients and the length of time that passes in these situations is a gift from God too. He knows that it is somehow made a little more bearable when they do go on to heaven because we've had that time. Talk to her. She is still hearing you even when it gets to the point where you think she isnt, she is.
ReplyDeleteI heard all sorts of different "stories" when my mom was leaving, and thought how horrible these people were to tell me that it would be a relief. For goodness sake my mom was dying! A lot of this made me really mad at the time, but I've learned that this is normal too. I wont try to convince you of anything, I have just passed on the things that helped me the most and that I hope will help you now.
Tell your Mom that I love her and will try to come Monday if it is ok with all of you. Still praying for your family and for especially sweet times for you all right now.
Nicole & Peter
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to put words to say what my heart feels for ya'll right now. I've been down the roads you are traveling, We lost my Mother over 27 years ago and my Dad 19 years ago, it still difficult at times. I've asked "What would Mama think about this or that" or I'd sure like to know what they would think of their grandkids. This side of Heaven we may never know or understand "Why" but our Father in heaven does.
As our lives were changed in loosing our parents, We see that the times we had was short, but we don't understand, why? God knows and we have put our faith in him and learn that his time is perfect. The chapter of the book of your lives is changing and you will start a new chapter.Daily look for God's writing new pages in the next chapters.
We don't always see what God has for us, but we have to look to him for the understanding we need. When Seth was born we couldn't see what our future was going to be but God knew, My mother was the one who came up with Seth's name 9 years before he was born, Seth Edward Thomas Hinckley that way his initials spell his name, at the time she came up with that I said" Mama your crazy cause why would we name a child with 3 names, but when he was born so early and all the dificult things we went through it just fit him.
Remember we are praying for your family, and always look to "Our heavenly Father for his peace, understanding, timing in everything that comes into your lives.
Robert Hinckley
Love & hugs & prayers.
ReplyDelete