Update

We made it home. Thank you American Airlines for accommodating us so quickly. We landed in DFW at 8:20 am, after possibly the longest night of my life.

I have been at the hospital since about 9:20 this morning. Let me just explain how we got here.

Dr Ruxer, the oncologist, came in yesterday and told Mom and Dad that the mass around her small intestines is tumor, not infection. This tumor is crushing the small intestines, and absorbing all the nutrients. This is why, no matter how much she eats and drinks, she is dehydrated and loses weight. It's simply feeding the tumor.

The tumors being this advanced, we are out of options. She is in palliative care at the hospital, with a possibility of being transferred to hospice. Maybe at home, maybe at a facility. I have a feeling God will make that choice for us. We are merely trying to keep her comfortable. Rather than 3-6 months, we were told that she has days to weeks, most likely just a few days. She WILL NOT starve to death, the tumors will just make her body shut down one system at a time. It will be very painful for her.

I spoke to Dad last night after spending the day at the Magic Kingdom. When he told me the news, Pete and I felt we had no choice but to come home. Actually, Pete made that decision all by himself. I was frankly in no shape to make any decision bigger than placing one foot in front of the other.

I'm really glad we are here. The 2 days we had of vacation were wonderful, and I actually don't regret going. We needed it. We are going to need it more after the next week or so.

I had the chance to sit with Mom for a long time today, and just talk. Lots of people are stopping by the hospital, so we're getting a lot of opportunities to reminisce. Lots of tears, on all parts.

Mom is OK with this. Remember, she gets the good part. Yes, she has to suffer for now, but she gets the good stuff pretty quickly. We are the ones who will have to suffer for the rest of our lives without her. She told me a few weeks ago that she was ready.

Last night, while Pete and I were frantically trying to get home, Mom was given the opportunity to witness to one of her very dear friends. She has been trying to witness to this lady for about 12 years, with no success. Last night, Regina became a Christian. Regina, if you are reading this, please know that I am SO PROUD of you for this decision.

I feel like this was maybe the "last thing" Mom was supposed to do before she goes.

Mom is in pretty good spirits. She's OK with crying, just not hysterics. Most of us aren't hysteric-prone anyway.

The rest of this week is REALLY going to stink though. For one of the first times in my life, I am praying that God will just slow down the clock, let me get one more conversation, one more hug or kiss, one more chance to tell her how much I love her.

Maybe one day the hole that is in my chest will heal, but for now it feels pretty much like a permanent fixture. I'm tired of crying and hurting all the time. I have no choice though. The tears just keep coming, and the hole just keeps throbbing.

I know that I ask this every time, but please continue to pray for us. My grandparents are dying of grief over their baby girl. My daddy is losing his soul mate. My uncle is losing his big sister. Eric, Hay, and I are losing our mommy. Pete adores my mom, and so does Robert (Hay's BF). I think Pete has cried as much as I have.

Through it, we have a peace that she's going to be OK, that this IS part of God's Perfect Will. It's us that we're worried about.