What now?!?!?

I really feel like that's what I am screaming at the top of my inner lungs.

The last couple of weeks have been good.

Mom's birthday was a difficult day.  We knew it would be.  But we all did OK.  It was very strange to not try to pick out the perfect present.  The whole weekend was difficult.  But, we had something that made the tough weekend more bearable...

Pete passed the Texas State Bar Exam!!!!!!!!!!!

He's officially a lawyer now.  We went down to Austin last weekend for him to be sworn in by the Supreme Court of Texas.  It was really cool, and most of our friends from law school also went down, so we had a fun weekend.  He does have a temporary job doing electronic discovery through a company that was hired by a large law firm for a HUGE case they are working on.  It's supposed to go through March, but we will continue looking at employment possibilities before then.

This week has been difficult.

Let me just say, I HATE hospitals.  I know now why God had me be a dentist, not a doctor.  I would probably throw myself off a building if I had to work in one every day, at least after this year.

Pawpaw (Mom's dad, Vernon) is in the hospital this week.  I can't honestly remember him ever being sick, other than maybe a head cold, and one bout with pneumonia a few years ago.

He is very anemic, and his blood pressure is very high.  They think there is a bleed internally, so they will be doing a colonoscopy tomorrow, as well as the other version where they go into the stomach through the mouth to check for ulcers, bleeds, etc.  He looks much better today than yesterday, actually has some color in his face.  Pray that everything turns out ok for him.

Granny is NOT taking this well.  I''m having trouble getting her to eat much, and she won't go home to do anything other than shower and change clothes.  So she isn't sleeping well.  She's very stressed, which exacerbates her Alzheimer's.  Usually, her Alzheimer's isn't too bad, but tonight she couldn't remember what she was supposed to be doing, why she came into a room, etc.  And she is very short tempered.  I know I'm not the most patient person when stressed, but she's very snappy right now.

I was surprised how much Harris hospital upsets me now.  Granddad (my Dad's dad) has been in the heart building 3 times in the past 3 months, and it hasn't bothered me, other than the simple fact that he is in the hospital.  But PawPaw is in the main building.  In the same tower Mom was in.  4 floors up.  On the same hallway.  It didn't occur to me which tower we were in until I was leaving last night, because we went to the tower via the underground tunnel system.  Then the elevator stopped on 2.  I saw the Palliative Care unit right in front of me, and nearly lost it.  When I reached my car, I realized my hands were really hurting, and when I looked down, I was shocked to see I was clenching them so tight they were white, and I was having trouble breathing.  I really never thought I would be there again, I had absolutely no intentions of EVER being there again.

Pray for my PawPaw.  I'm nervous about the tests tomorrow.  I know it's probably perfectly fine.  But, well, you've read the blogs.  Anyone who has known me over the past 3 years knows why I'm nervous.  Please pray for Granny too.  And since Rob and Kathy live in New Mexico, my mom made me promise to take care of her parents.  So I try.